Wooing Lasses 101
by yhim817
Summary: Killian is asked to watch Henry after school and ends up giving him lessons on "how to properly woo a lass." Perhaps Killian needs lessons of his own when it comes to Emma. Before episode 3.11. Captain Swan pairing
1. Introduction

A/N: So I started writing a really angsty Captain Swan one-shot, but then I remembered that I never uploaded this little story. It's Captain Swan fluff with our favorite kid Henry! Oh and I started writing this before 3x11 ever happened...

Disclaimer: I still don't own anything

Summary: Killian is asked to watched Henry after school and ends up giving him lessons on "how to properly woo a lass." Perhaps Killian needs lessons of his own when it comes to Emma.

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Part 1 - The Attempt

He made sure his hook always stayed in his pocket. Emma suggested that if he didn't want to be given dirty looks or even "polited escorted away," he should keep his hook out of sight. Normally, he didn't care what kind of looks he received or where he was kicked out from, but today was different. It had been a few weeks since they had returned from Neverland and Emma was still swamped at the police department. She didn't have time to pick Henry up from school today and almost everyone was busy too.

Fortunately, Killian was completely free at that moment. In fact, he was in the police department with Emma. Of course, she had been interrogating him considering four of the dwarves had called in complaints about him messing with their axes. She had told him she would let him go free of charges if he picked up Henry and watched him until someone else finished with their own work and could watch him.

Killian didn't hesitate in agreeing, which would explain why he was waiting across the street from the school. It wasn't long until children started running out the doors, laughter and yelling filling the air. Killian kept an eye out for Henry, slowly starting to make his way towards the school. He finally spotted him, but Henry seemed completely oblivious to him. In fact, Henry seemed completely oblivious to everyone around him except for one person.

Henry held a flower in his hand as he walked purposefully towards a girl about his age. She had freckles all over her face and she tossed her ginger hair over her shoulder as she laughed with her friends.

Killian stood from a distance and watched, knowing exactly what Henry's intentions were. He smiled, wondering if Swan's charm would come out in him. Henry approached the girl and started talking, interrupting a conversation she was in the middle of actually. He started twisting the flower in his hands and it seemed as if he was struggling in the conversation. The girl just stared at him, waiting for him to finish.

When he finally did, he stretched out his arm to hand her the flower. The girl took it, delicately smelled it, then sneezed. She said something, handing the flower back to Henry before walking away with her friends.

"So…what's her name?"

Henry looked up as Killian stood next to him. His cheeks quickly colored and he looked down. "Terra Johnson."

Killian grabbed the flower from Henry's hand and looked at it. It was beat up from Henry handling it too roughly. "This is your first time ever doing something like this, isn't it lad?"

Henry stuffed his hands in his pockets. "Maybe…"

"Well, lucky for you, I happen to be an expert in wooing young ladies. Considering your mother asked me to pick you up and watch you, I have a little time to give you a few lessons." Killian said.

"Really?" Henry asked as his face lit up.

"I don't see why not? Now, let's go to your home for your first lesson," Killian said as they started walking.

"Which is…?" Henry asked as he matched the pace of the pirate.

"No offense lad, but the clothes you have on are hideous. Yes, I understand, this school for some reason requires you to wear a uniform, but if you plan on wooing a lass, you must always 'dress to impress.'"

"Coming from the guy who's still wearing pirate clothes." Henry mumbled.

"But it's never stopped any woman from throwing herself at my feet," Killian responded with a smirk. "Even your mother…" Killian trailed off as he saw a look of curiousity and disgust on Henry's face. "Anyways, by the time your lessons are done, all the girls in your school will find you as charming as I."


	2. Lesson 1: Clothing

A/N: Happy New Year everyone! Hope you guys had an awesome night and a wonderful New Year! Read this, enjoy it, and let me know what you think in a review :)

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**Lesson 1: Clothing**

Killian and Henry had made it halfway back to Emma's apartment when Henry remembered his best outfits were at Regina's home.

"I hope you realize that Regina isn't exactly fond of me still." Killian said as they approached the house.

"Yeah, I know. But don't worry. She shouldn't be home. And even if she is, you can just wait outside my window and I'll throw the clothes down to you." Henry answered.

So this was exactly why Killian was in the backyard of the Evil Queen, looking through clothing Henry had tossed him. "Do you have _nothing_ that is just black?" Killian called up, tossing aside a dark green sweater.

Henry poked his head out the window, throwing down a dark red shirt. "Well, I don't really like wearing just black."

Killian looked down at his own clothes. Of course, he was dressed completely in black. "I do wear a red vest from time to time," he muttered as he looked down at the new shirt Henry had handed him. There were small gray stripes running up and down and black ones running across. So far, it had been the best shirt Henry had given him.

"So when are you going to get some new clothes?" Henry asked.

Killian looked up to see Henry giving him what he thought was a cheeky grin. "My clothes are perfectly fine, thank you." he said, trying to avoid sneering at the boy.

Henry's grin just grew before he pulled his head back in. "If you plan on sticking around, you should get clothes that'll blend in more."

Killian looked down at his clothes again. He really liked his clothes. He didn't like the idea of changing them.

"I bet Emma would like a change," Henry added.

Killian scowled. "I'm the one giving you lessons right now, lad. Now, this red shirt looks like it'll do. Do you have any black pants?"

"Yeah, but those are for school. What about jeans?" Henry asked as he pulled out a pair and dangled them out for Killian to examine.

"Those are fine, I suppose." Killian tossed up the red shirt for Henry to grab, but at the last minute, Henry pulled back inside, not catching the shirt.

The shirt fell back down, landing right in Killian's face. He growled as he took the shirt off his face. "Why didn't you grab it?" he called up.

"I appreciate your help in getting my son back, but that does not mean you can come into my back yard as you please, Captain."

Killian turned around to see Regina glaring at him. Henry said she wasn't supposed to be here, yet there she was.

"Hey, Killian! It's Emma!" Henry called out.

Killian looked back up just in time to catch the phone Henry has thrown down. He fumbled a little with it. Finally having a good grip he stared at the phone. "How the hell do you use this thing?" he mumbled.

_"Hello? You better answer me, Hook,"_ Emma's voice faintly could be heard from the phone.

"You put that end to your ear and talk," Regina pointed out with so much annoyance in her voice. "Why are Henry's clothes lying _everywhere_?"

Killian put the phone to his ear, just like Regina said. "Swan, I could speak to endlessly, but now isn't exactly the best time and besides, I don't even like using this _phone_ contraption either."

_"Where the hell are you? I told you to take Henry straight to Granny's. Why do I hear Regina in the background yelling about his clothes?"_

Killian frowned. "You can hear her?" he looked up at Regina who was starting to pick up the clothes while still demanding an explanation. "Your highness, do you think you could possibly shut up? Swan can hear you and it's apparently distracting her."

"I'm distracting?! I come home for a lunch break only to find you in my backyard with Henry's clothes _everywhere_!" Regina yelled.

_"You're at Regina's? What are you doing there? You know what, put Henry on the phone. Let me talk to him now."_

"Hey, Hook, can you…oh, hey Mom!" Henry called out, sticking his head out the window.

Regina and Killian both looked up.

"Henry? What is going on?!" Regina exclaimed.

"Hook's just helping me with something." Henry vaguely explained. "Can you hand me that shirt you said to wear?" Henry asked Killian.

"Your other mother would like to speak with you, as well." Killian said. He threw the phone up after tossing the shirt. Unfortunately, the phone slipped from Henry's hands. The phone came falling back down and cracked upon impact with the ground.

"Opps," was the only thing that Henry said.

Regina closed her eyes, mumbling something about knowing Henry was still too young to have a phone of his own.

"I'll be right out, Mom! Just let me change!" Henry said, obviously not caring that much about the broken phone.

Regina looked from the window to the clothes, to the broken phone, to Killian. "I'm going to ask one last time: what is going on?"

Killian shrugged. "Emma asked me to watch him since everyone was busy. He wanted to change before going to Granny's."

Regina eyed him. "And Emma trusted you enough to watch him?"

Killian rolled his eyes. "I'm not incompetent. I do know how to properly care for a child.

Regina's glare quickly turned into a smirk. "Of course. You'll jump on any opportunity to impress Miss Swan."

Killian gave her a sarcastic smile. "Do you wish it was you that I try so desperately to impress?"

Before Regina could respond, Henry came out. "I didn't know you were going to be coming here," he said as he gave her a hug.

"Like I said, I came for a quick lunch. There's still some things that need to be taken care of in the Town Hall. Are you going to be okay though?"

Henry nodded. "Me and Hook are just going to be hanging out." Henry responded with a wide smile.

Killian nodded in approval. "See, Regina. The lad likes me,"

Regina cast him a glare before looking at Henry again. She frowned a little as she looked at his clothes. "Why are you dressed so nice?

Henry looked down then back at Regina. "You really think I look good? Hook helped me pick this out,"

Regina's frown only increased. "Why?"

Killian shrugged. "The lad wanted to learn how to dress more fashionably. I offered my assistance."

"Really. Fashion advice from a pirate?"

Henry grinned. "He said that he could help me 'dress to impress.' I didn't think he'd know what he was doing, but he picked these clothes, so…"

"Wait, who are you trying to impress?" Regina asked.

"Um…no one. Come on, Hook. We should get going," Henry said, grabbing Killian's hand and dragging him away.


	3. Lesson 2: Conversation

A/N: Thank you everyone for all the reviews! Really encourages me to get the chapters out sooner :) Hope you guys like this chapter and don't forget to leave a nice little review for me.

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**Lesson 2: Conversation**

"I'll just have whatever the boy is having," Killian said as Ruby took their order.

"Shouldn't we be out there with you giving me dancing lessons or something?" Henry asked as soon as Ruby was gone.

"Patience, lad. The dancing comes later. But your mother did say we were to come eat here." Killian said. He flicked the straw that was in the water, wishing it were rum. But Emma had said no drinking while watching Henry. And he was going to abide by that.

"Well, there has to be something else you can show me while we're here."

Killian leaned back in the booth, eyeing Henry thoughtfully. "There may be a certain way you're supposed to eat while dining with the lass, but you should probably ask Prince Charming for help in that area."

Henry laughed a little at that idea. "You're sure there's nothing?"

"Two strawberry milkshakes, extra whip and double cherries." Ruby said as she set down the two shakes.

Henry grabbed the shake, forgetting about his previous question. He ate both cherries and before starting on the milkshake.

Killian brought the shake towards him with his hook. He sniffed it suspiciously. "Is this a dessert? Because Emma said you weren't to have any dessert before you had actual food."

Henry quickly shook his head. "It's like milk, except they add some strawberry to it,"

Killian sipped it. It was sweet, but if Henry said it wasn't a dessert…

"How do I actually start talking to her though?" Henry asked, returning to their lessons.

"The first thing I would suggest is tell her a story or an adventure possibly."

"We live in a fairytale town. I don't think she would want to hear about a story." Henry deadpanned.

"Very well. How about a legend?" Killian watched as Ruby walked past him with a plate of food. "Make room on the bench." Killian quickly told Henry.

Henry didn't question as he scooted to the corner and waited with bated breath for Killian's next move.

"Excuse me, lass. Do you mind taking a seat for a moment?" Killian said as soon as Ruby walked back.

Ruby raised an eyebrow as she looked at him then at Henry. "Your hamburgers should be out soon if that's what you were going to ask."

Killian laughed a little as he stood. "Whatever a hamburger is, I can assure it, it is the last thing on my mind. Now, please, take a seat." Killian said as he gently guided her into the spot next to Henry.

Ruby glanced at Henry who just shrugged his shoulders. "Fine, five minutes. Granny's going to notice if I'm gone longer."

Killian grinned as he picked up a cherry and popped the entire thing into his mouth, including the stem. "Have you ever heard of the legend of the cherry stem?"

Ruby shook her head. She crossed her arms and leaned back, showing how bored she was already.

He pulled out the stem moments after putting it in his mouth. It was tied in a perfect knot. "Back in my land, women would whisper about the men who could tie the stem of a cherry with only their tongues." he popped the other cherry in his mouth and then the stem. Five seconds later, he pulled it out. Again, it was tied in a perfect knot. He twirled it in his hand for a moment in front of Ruby's eyes. "The man who could do this nearly impossibly feat was said to have a gift in providing _immense_ pleasure to women." He grabbed the stems from the cherries Henry had eaten and slipped them into his mouth. Moments later, he pulled them out and they were both in perfect knots. "Specifically with their _tongue._"

Killian lined up the four cherry stems and looked up at Ruby. She still had her arms crossed, but he could notice a slight flush in her cheeks. "Of course, it's only a legend. Perhaps the only way for you to know it's true is if you were to test it out yourself. Such a pity you don't know any man who can do this impossible trick." Killian said as he leaned forward bringing his hand and hook to the table.

"Trust me, she's tested it out multiple times."

Killian grimaced as he felt a hand placed on his shoulder. He turned to see Dr. Whale standing behind him. "Ah, Dr. Whale. It's always a pleasure to see you outside of the hospital."

Ruby stood up and moved next to him, she placed a kiss on his cheek. "My shift is almost over. Then we can go out,"

Dr. Whale smiled as Ruby made her way back to the kitchen. He glanced at Henry then back at Killian. "You should be glad Henry's here." he gave Killian's shoulder a rough squeeze. "I'm watching you pirate."

Killian smirked. "I do quite enjoy it when people watch me."

Dr. Whale rolled his eyes as he walked away.

Killian looked back to Henry. "So yes, you could try something like that."

Henry looked at the cherry stems. "Do you think I could tell Terra about that legend? Repeat it, so I can write it down and I don't mess it up."

Killian pursed his lips. "Not until your older. If not, both of your mothers and even your father might have a _talk_ with me."

"Two hamburgers right here," Ruby said as she set down the plates. "Anything else I can get?"

"Actually, I'd-"

"I was talking to Henry," Ruby said with a small glare.

Henry laughed, but quickly turned it to a cough. "Thanks Ruby. You can just put it all on my mom's tab."

"No problem, kid." Ruby said as the glare turned to a smile as she looked at Henry and left.

Killian stared at the food in front of him, then looked at Henry. He noticed he was using both hands. This was going to be tricky…

"So what else should I say to her once I'm done with the story?" Henry asked.

Killian grabbed one of the fries, since they seemed easier to eat. "Always compliment her. But only ever say something that you truly mean. Like when I speak with Emma, I always tell her that her…" Killian stopped. He couldn't exactly tell Henry what he would actually say… "Eyes remind me of the rare green flash that comes over the ocean sky every hundred years."

"So…do you think telling Terra that her hair smells like strawberries is a good idea?"

"Well, does it?"

Henry frowned for a moment. "I don't know,"

"Why don't you finish your food and we can work on the form of conversing later. And be careful not to get your clothes dirty. We can't have you ruining your best outfit now."


	4. Lesson 3: Dancing

A/N: So it's been a while, but I have gotten super busy with school :/ I finally found time to write up a quick update though so here is the next lesson! By the way, if anyone has any kind of suggestions for a lesson, I will gladly consider it. I'm kind of running out of ideas for this thing :P Hope you enjoy!

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Lesson 3: Dance

"Okay, but what happens if she just doesn't want to talk anymore?" Henry asked as he dropped his backpack on the floor of the loft and headed straight for the fridge. He poked his head in it and started foraging for snacks.

Killian smiled in amusement. They had just eaten, yet Henry still seemed to be hungry. He definitely had a healthy appetite. "Trust me, lad. There's a high possibility she won't grow weary of conversing," he said as he sat at the bar and watched Henry pull out a bag of grapes. It seemed to be the only thing he could find that he could munch on.

"Yeah, you're right. But what if I get bored? Isn't there something else we could do than just _talk_?"

"There's always dancing. Do you know how to dance?"

Henry shook his head.

"Well then, this can be our next lesson. Why don't you play whatever it is people listen to now and I'll show you how to properly dance to it."

Henry nodded and went to the device Emma called a stereo. He pushed a few buttons before standing back, satisfied.

Killian listened to the song. It definitely wasn't something he was accustomed to.

"So how do I dance?" Henry asked, waiting for Killian to make some kind of move.

Killian pursed his lips. "This is what's popular right now?"

Henry nodded his head. "Everyone likes this song. Even my mom listens to it all the time," he said with a smile.

Killian quickly went through all the dance routines he knew and couldn't imagine how they could possibly match up with the song Henry was now playing. He listened to the lyrics, hoping for some kind of information.

"_'Cause your sex takes me to paradise  
Yeah, your sex takes me to paradise  
And it shows, yeah, yeah, yeah  
'Cause you make me feel like I've been locked out of heaven  
For too long, for-"_

"Hey! You turned it off!" Henry exclaimed.

Killian looked down at the ripped electrical cord in his hand and hook. He cleared his throat as he looked back at Henry, hoping he didn't notice what he had done. "Yes, well, I don't believe you should be listening to that kind of music. You aren't exactly old enough."

Henry shook his head and even rolled his eyes. Before he could make any kind of protests, Killian started talking again.

"One of the best things about dancing is that you don't need music for it. So long as you can hear some kind of tune in your head. Besides, women find that kind of dancing the most magical. Especially if you're teaching them as well."

Killian moved to stand next to Henry. "Now, you're going to be leading her, so you have to be sure you are confident. But it has to be a healthy display of confidence. Women love confidence in a man, but when they have too much of it, it can possibly push them away. By leading and having confidence, she will begin to trust you during the dance and that is one of the most important things when it comes to winning her heart.

"Stand up straight and place your right arm behind your back. Now, with your left hand, stretch it out and offer it to her."

Henry frowned as he followed Killian's instructions. "Wait, what kind of dancing is this?"

"The only kind there is," Killian responded. "Now, the lady has accepted. You pull her in and continue holding her hand with your left hand. With your right hand, you place it on the _middle _of her back. I'm sure when you're older, you can venture further down, but for now, keep it in the middle."

"This dancing is for classical music though," Henry pointed out as he continued following Killian's instructions with his invisible dance partner.

Killian stood in front of Henry. "Do you wish to learn or not?"

Henry gave a sheepish smile, "Well…yeah?"

"Good," Killian smiled, "So, the lady is now in your arms. Show your confidence. Show her that you know how to lead and that she can trust you." Killian lectured as he turned on his heel and started walking around Henry. "How does confidence look like?"

Henry gave his biggest grin.

Killian shook his head. "That's a young lad happy to see his mother. Confidence, lad!"

Henry cleared his face and gave Killian a very stoic expression.

"You don't want to scare her though. She might think you're plotting her murder or something."

Henry sighed. "Well, how is it supposed to look like?"

"Just smile naturally. Don't make sure a huge effort," Killian said as he leaned down to Henry's eye level. "Just a simple smile," Killian gave his own confident smile.

Henry looked at him, but his mouth twisted as he tried holding back a laugh.

"What is it?" Killian asked as he straightened.

"My mom calls that your 'creeper look'." Henry said with a small laugh.

"Swan…one day, she'll see," Killian grumbled under his breath. "Just…smile. But not too much!"

Henry tried once more and Killian regarding the smile carefully. He shrugged his shoulders. "Better. We'll continue working on that. But the music has started in your head. Keep count. One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four. First you'll step to your right, then forward."

Henry frowned in concentration as he did his best to step in time to Killian's counting. Killian continued pointing out the little things that Henry could improve on and congratulating him when he successfully accomplished something.

Neither of them heard the door open.

"What's going on in here?"

They both turned around, Henry with his arms still holding his invisible dance partner and Killian with both arms behind his back. "Lady Snow. I didn't know you were going to be back already."

"I'm just dropping my stuff off before I go grocery shopping." She walked towards them, a frown still on her face. "Henry, are you dancing?"

Henry realized his arms were still in dancing position and he quickly lowered them, a blush creeping up his neck. "Yeah, Hook was giving me lessons."

"You know how to dance?" Snow asked with a surprised look.

Killian grinned. "Aye. One of the many ways I made it into a young lasses heart."

Snow rolled her eyes as she went to the fridge to make a list of the things they needed. "Don't forget you still have homework to do, Henry."

"I'm busy though. Hook's teaching me how to 'woo a lass.'" Henry said, proudly using the pirate's terms.

Snow shut the fridge and stared Killian down.

Killian shrugged his shoulders. "The lad asked. How could I refuse to give him lessons."

Snow shook her head with an amused look. "Whatever passes the time, I guess. Just don't show him anything inappropriate."

"Yes, well it seems like the music he listens to does enough of that," Killian mumbled.

Snow gave him an odd look before deciding she was just going to ignore that comment. "Someone else should be done soon, so they can look after Henry."

"I don't mind at all. Besides, I'm enjoying these lessons. Aren't you, Henry?"

Henry nodded with a smile.

Snow gave a combined look of suspicion and amusement before saying goodbye and leaving again.

"Now, where were we?" Killian asked as he turned to look at Henry.


End file.
